好累

真的很不喜欢自己现在这个样子....

You know the kind of pain that u try to hold it in so bad?

Every  moment  u feel like crying but you have to hold it in.

You tilt ur head up, close your eyes, trying to stop the tears from flowing.. but somehow it doesn't work...

I tried so hard to not think n not feel but I can't...

This is so difficult.  I dono how I should move on.. or when can I really move on...

dread

U know the home u used to love going back to...

U dread it now 

你一直在付出，在守护的变得一文不值..

pain

Have you  ever go thru a pain  that feels like you are shattered. 

太痛了 

when the world crash down....

Will you perish or will you live..

Or

Should u perish  or should u live...

When u look back.... you  feel pain... and  pain is all you feel..

太痛了 it feels like a fucking slap in your face 

Every  quiet moment when u feel the pain  in ur heart you can't even describe. I don even know how to go on.. too raw... to painful..

oh wow!

Was looking for a place to pen down some thoughts and  surprise that blogger is still around ! 

Log in the app and  was even more pleasantly surprised to look back at my old posting! 2012. That's 13 years ago! Almost forgot how I used to pen down all my thoughts.

13 years later. I think I have lost the old me. With more responsibilities of family and adult, becoming a mother , a wife. Not everything  I can share as freely and as openly as I wan to. Sometime loneliness engulfs me and I don even know who to speak to. Sounds kind of sad but well that's life.  

Life become mundane. The first few years of motherhood was a whirldwind. I don even recognise myself. It was a mixture of happiness, uncertainties,  confused, anxious, sadness, anxiety.  A huge emotions up and down.

Updates!

Finally! Here's a post after so long. :) life's bee great recently.. Manage to squeeze out a short trip to bkk with the bf! It's seems like we go there every yr hahahah. With good food, great shopping and awesome massage, who don like Bangkok u tell me!!!!!! This trip I mus say the greatest and happiest shopper is.......JASPER SEET! Hahahahha I think those that he buy is enough to last till cny! Super love the shirt he tailor made! Good quality, nice cutting at a quarter of the price u get in Singapore... Damn wu hua !

For me, I got alil crazy with their accessories and high waist short! Love sia!!!!! :))) cant wait to wear them out on our par tor date!

Life's been good for me so far.. Nothing much to complain with good roster every mth... Oops! Able to be around for my mummy bdae and my annual leave all approved for this :D can't wait for my August leave to have a well deserve break and bf's bdae celebration:)))

Manage to meet up with my Besties n buddies for drinks too!!!! And my kitties all recovered frm weird illness! So hurray!!!

Currently in hkg now, leaving for San Francisco tonight! By the time I'm back to hkg I'm gonna meet my Aunty !!! We shall explore hkg for yummy food! Yeah! So coincident that she's here for holiday! My first time ever meetin loved ones overseas while on work trip hahahhah!

So yup! And I will blog about smth happy n major change after 29 July! Hahahahha make sure everything confirmed first If not I will jinx it! Hahahah

Thats all folks! Bye!